Reality Vs Reality

After seeing someone post a pic of a good pose vs a bad pose, & then go on in the same post how much she hated that she was doing this cos 'she shouldn't have to' and that shes soooooo bored of these posts on IG. I swiftly unfollwed her. (That will teach her...not) But for me, I don't have time for that kinda negative unawareness. 

I find it odd that some people just can't see the importance of these posts. Before food vs after food, pants pulled up vs pants pulled low, abs under spotlights vs abs under bad lights...

OK I get it, to some they seem like 'trend' following posts & whilst I see that point, I still kinda think "so what" so the fuck what if it IS a 'trend' it fucking should be. It should be a trend more so than all the Photoshop pics we see and have no fucking idea.  Can you see, I'm passionate about this (hence the swearing)

My feed is bombarded with 'best angles' & smooth skin & (my perspective) of the 'perfect' butt to waist ratio. It's filled with the likes of Katya Henry and Jen Setler, because I choose to follow them. 

Why? Because (woman crush Wednesday errrryday) and whilst I love 'hearting' those good angles that people have down,  I also NEED a dose of another reality sometimes. Why? Cos I'm a human, with an ego. An ego that if it sees too much of these seemingly perfecto human beans, gets slightly miffed at oneself for NOT having aforementioned hip to waist ratio or a smooth non dimply bum. I've spent yrs looking at smash Hits, then Bliss, to Hello, to Grazia, Stylist, Vogue... where these 'species' of women or more importantly, (these air brushed, good lit, angles) grace the pages. Years that cemented into my brain "gosh I don't look like that at all, whats wrong with me?" and as you get a bit older you realise, sort of, that there is nothing wrong with you at all, but that these images are largley altered to trick us into being insecure about ourselves so we can go buy into a multi billion dollar beauty/fitness industry. God forbid we think we are perfect already. We might just stop buying the hair products, the make up, the gym memberships... but i digress.

What I have found with IG is that I love going there for an all round, all aspect, kinda viewing. I choose to follow a mix of humans and yup, I follow Sommer Ray & her bottom pics, but I also follow women like Hannah Bower who show me they got butt, but they got butt dimples too. HALLAFUCKINUHJLA!!! And i tell u this now. One makes me feel better than the other. And yes, perhaps at 32 I should be grown enough to know that not ALL bums are like Katyas, & that at some angles she has dimples too, & that IG is a reel of peoples "best bits" Yeh yeh. But how do we change what the definition of "best bits" are if we don't see other peoples other angles, other versions of a shape or a skin type. Why would we think our own dimples are acceptable if we never see other peoples?

I know I should be aware & egoless enough, to not let (what we have been told is) perfection after perfection, get to me. We all know comparison is the thief of joy. My rational, sane, grown up self KNOWS these things. But ego/the chimp/vulnerability/the dark bits of ourselves... well, those bits forget. And when the dark bits of ourselves forget, we start to feel "less than." 

"I want that airbrushed bottom & abs that create shadows. I work out, why doesn't my body look like that?" That less than feeling may only last 2 minutes, it might last a few days. It might however have a subliminal lasting effect that lasts a lifetime on some younger humans. They may struggle with self image for another 15 to 30 yrs? Or forever. And nope, I am not saying stop following all those women who show u ALL their best angles, & we will never know if they have a back fat rolls or not, that's OK! Follow them, heart them, dribble over them. But also, take note of the fact that there are a lot of fitness accounts showing you some other stuff too. And those posts are so terribly important. Because as much as we like to see pretty perfected glossy things (our brains are tuned into) we need to see real, non perfected, stuff too, not so we can judge it or even make ourselves feel better, but so that we just remember, we are human, all with multifaceted angles. And that those angles are beautiful too. If we forget that or don't let that sync in, how are we gonna be happy with ourselves when we catch our cellulit'd thighs under the 12 o'clock sun. How are we ever gonna be satisfied if we sit down, see a fat roll and think we are the only ones & that we must be "abnormal/gross/unattractive" Perhaps if young girls see ALL these angles they wont feel so dissatisfied, so lonely, so hell bent on hating themselves & performing self sabotage non self lovey things like talking self hate in the mirror or going on diet after diet. 

Becauses when we don't feel alone, when we feel like we belong, when we feel like there is a community of people we fit in with, we feel connected, we feel human, we feel at home. 

I am not saying one version of account is better than the other. BOTH are reality. I think each set of humans get to decide what they want to do with their page. Lets not judge the other. If I choose to show only my best bits, (which I do sometimes) I'm not gonna judge the people that don't. Both have their place. a bit like we need cake for the soul, we also need some "cake" for the soul, knowwhatImsayin? *wink wink... but we also need those things we don't really like, but we know it's healthy. Those green beans we need, we need those like our body need to see some cellulite or back fat... it's just science... well i don't think it's science, but you get my point. BOTH and ALL angles are reality. Just because sometimes we pop our hip till it nearly falls off, doesn't mean that picture ISNT me. And i totally understand when someone shows you "hip misplacement vs hip in sane human place as it should be"

Now... I'm gonna go get my dose of smooth, plump, perky poses, but in the mix of that I hope this 'trend' of "sucking in vs letting tummy hang out," doesn't end, because for me and my soul, I wanna feel like I'm a fitness person, worthy of that title even though my belly looks like a donut sometimes, my back has fat & my butt houses dimples. Call it what you will. But I NEED those reminders! And you do too!