Insecurities

 

 

Woke up today feeling anything but a confident, secure 34 year old. Sometimes I wake up and my 14 year old head repeats itself over & over again.
"The kool kids dont like you"
"You will never be organised enough to grow your business further"
"I probably shouldn't share these needy thoughts... delete the above delete the above" 
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Doing the work doesnt mean everyday is a unicorn ride over the rainbow. Sometimes you feel like you're on a cow ride through a slaughter house (sorry this jus was the 1st helly thing I could think of)🤨
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I guess the idea is that at 14 I didn't know there was a way to feel better, or that I had the power to. I hadn't learned that thoughts arent facts nor had I proved to myself I was capable of thinking daffodil thoughts & believing in myself. I hadn't at the time, proved that these feelings are a result of my thoughts & that I could literally just be aware of them. And try and change them.
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Today in this moment, right now, I "think" I can't feel better but deep down. I "know" I can...
Faith that this too shall pass. Cos it has before. It does.
I hope that you guys know that not everyone feels bloody amazing all the time. Even the dolphin gymnasium, ab showing humans who get paid to fly into the sunset & eat deliciois colourful food all day.
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Noone is immune to self doubt, uncertainty, insecurities. We all have shit days, shit thoughts, and maybe some do not entertain these thoughts, or perhaps share them. For some they come out in other ways.
Perfectionism is a sure sign of feeling "less than"
Don't think you are crazy just for having bad days if you do.
I'm of the opinion that this is just human. (And not just cos feeling vulnerable is on trend) been feeling it since 1998. And it most certainly wasn't trendy then🤣🙄!

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Danielle TaborComment
Can you have it all in life?

PRIORITIES and SACRIFICES:

I think we get so caught up in wanting it all, all the time, now.

You really can have it all, but to some degree. I think you can have a great career and a good relationship. You can be fit and still go out for dinner, you can eat non nutritious foods and still be "healthy" you can be honest, evolve, move on from people and still be a nice person.

But there will always be sacrifices and priority shifts.

What I notice in my job is that often people aren't up for that. It's an extremes game. It's all or nothing. Even when thats proved to them time and time again, to be ineffective.

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In some cases, some people aren't willing to give up a whole pizza in exchange for half a pizza, or they won't swap the full fat coke for the diet coke. They won't stop the cardio even if that no longer sees them results. They would rather burn out and do it all or eat all the foods than compromise and half some of them. And yet. Your lifestyle would be so much more manageable, likeable, doable, approachable if we could all find this balance. 

On the other hand you don't want to sacrifice anything and yet on the other hand, you want every goal of you've ever wanted, like yesterday.  

You can have the burger and fries and still have abs. But at some points on your journey you may be better off making a better choice. You have to decide what you want the most. For me and my clients I want them to eat the burger and then not feel shit. I want that for them cos if its a choice of burger or abs, the burger always wins. 

But, we could have the burger and a body that we feel comfy in. The compromise could be the abs. Cos abs wont promise you comfort in the skin anyways.  

You can have a career and still make time for your loved ones but sometimes the priority will be your husband and other times it will be the job. But every day you may not get all your work in as well as quality time with your husband. So you prioritise on any given day. 

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You can be healthy and eat non nutritious foods. But some days you make better choices and other days you decide your soul health is more important.  But you have to be accountable. You have to make decisions. You have to be ok with your choice to eat junk if you want junk. You should be ok with that. Some days you want to cry into a pint of ice cream. That. Is. Ok. And if that means it slows progress down on whatever body goal journey you are on. Please let it and trust that today, that was the priority YOU chose. 

I think that main thing is, if we all started being in it for the process and not the end result. We would all enjoy it so much more. The choices we made wouldnt be so all or nothingy.  

It's not the end of the world that some meals I eat for fuel and nutrition more than my taste buds and soul (yes there's a compromise) but some days I am willing to not eat the most delicious thing on the menu cos I know the next day I'm going to my fav restaurant where I will have the non nutritious meal then. That compromise is ok for me. I don't regret or resent finding that balance. But there is a balance.  

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If you really think about it. The compramise is not that much of a sacrifice. Most compromises you make on this "lifestyle" change will be beneficial to you. Choosing not to work late every night and prioritising your husband sometimes will benefit you. You will be happier and less resentful therefore it will benefit your work too when you next go in, refreshed and happy.  

Choosing the sea bass and French fries but not the pudding might make you feel less bloated or sluggish and therefore you stay awake to watch the crime documentary you planned to watch. With hubby. 

Choosing to wake up 3 mornings a week early to go train doesnt have to be the end of the world, perhaps starting 3 days early means you get more done at work and you don't have to stay late every day.  

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Choosing to not eat a crossaint from Pret every morning and instead make some overnight oats means that you save money and have more energy balance leeway to enjoy a brunch with the girls on the weekend without sacrificing your body comp goals plus its just more nutritious for you and you feel fuller for longer at work. 

The priorities in your life should always be inline with what gives you a better quality, and is more in line with your values. Sometimes we are so hell bent on not changing or sacrificing cos we think it will mean our lives will be shit. But actually. 9 times out of 10 our lives become better.  

The long term gain for a short term sacrifice or priority shift can benefit us ten fold. It's not all doom and gloom.  

 

Danielle TaborComment
WANNABE Wellness Workshop
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I am so excited to be leading this workshop. I hope this to be a safe space to learn about fitness and nutrition and the mindset to implement it into YOUR life, YOUR way. 

To find out what the day will involve please head HERE

I cannot wait to see you there. 

Any questions email me on 07921317477

xxx

Danielle TaborComment